if you date someone they’re your pets step parent
I watch pretty much every show on television/Swan Queen. Rizzles. Docubus.Cophine are my main ships.
Opposite of walking into a glass door.
i haVEe been laUAGHING AT thIS FOR 328 YeaRS
okay so i have a story for u
i was on a bus (i live in london fyi) and normally on the second pair of doors there are like two glass windows on either side separating the seats from the space, so i decided to stand in the middle, because u know, i thought i would be safe, BUT OH LORD AND BEYOND I WAS WRONG
like, as soon as i got on i realised this wasnt gonna be a normal fuckin bus journey, because the bus driver was FUCKING MENTAL, his driving was super fast and he was swerving round corners like he gotta get home to watch his favourite tv show or s/t
so when the journey comes to an end, he pulls up to the stop, yet it wasn’t a gentle pull up (because remember, the bus driver was off his tits), it was like satan was taking the whole bus from behind, and remember the part where I said I was standing? yeah me too
so as my life flashed before my eyes i quickly put my hand out to stop myself from slamming into the glass, BUT TO MY SURPRISE THE GLASS WASN’T FUCKING THERE, THE GLASS HAD BETRAYED MY HANDS AND I HEARD SARAH MCLACHLAN SINGING IN THE ARMS OF AN ANGEL
I FULL ON SMACKED A GUY IN THE FUCKING FACE WHO HAD JUST TURNED AROUND AND STOOD UP TO GET OFF THE BUS BECAUSE THE GLASS WAS NOT THERE
AND AS IF THIS COULD NOT GET ANY WORSE, IN MY MIND I COULDN’T JUST SLAP AND LEAVE HIM, SO I DECIDED TO GENTLY STROKE HIS FACE, LIKE who the fuck, im so ashamed of my bus it lasted a good 5 seconds
i then slowly got off the bus and contemplated my life choices
and that was the day glass on a bus betrayed me
THAT WAS THE GREATEST STORY I’VE EVER READ
hey canadians have fun at school tomorrow
hey americans have fun paying your health care
stop guys we’re friends remember
Children, behave else mother shall have to give the pair of you a bollocking.
You couldn’t beat 13 states, let alone 50.
what’s going on over here?
I just choked
tumblr country wars are the best